Twelve Days of Christmas Redux
November 27, 2008, afternoon session

Mr. Mason: Thank you very much, Mr. Speaker. Due to time constraints I'm afraid I'm going to have drop a few verses from my member's statement, but I hope that members will get the gist.

On the first day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
a consultant from New Jersey.

On the second day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
two Tory bagmen
and a consultant from New Jersey.

On the third day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
three hospitals closing, two Tory bagmen,
and a consultant from New Jersey.

On the fifth day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
five golden handshakes, four doctors fired,
three hospitals closing, two Tory bagmen,
and a consultant from New Jersey.

On the seventh day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
seven swans a-walking, six empty wards,
five golden handshakes, four doctors fired,
three hospitals closing, two Tory bagmen,
and a consultant from New Jersey.

On the ninth day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
nine health boards fired, eight used syringes,
seven swans a-walking, six empty wards,
five golden handshakes, four doctors fired,
three hospitals closing, two Tory bagmen,
and a consultant from New Jersey.

On the 12th day of Christmas
the health minister gave to me
12 lists a-waiting, 11 memos censored,
10 private clinics, nine health boards fired,
eight used syringes, seven swans a-walking,
six empty wards, five golden handshakes,
four doctors fired, three hospitals closing,
two Tory bagmen,
and a consultant from New Jersey.

The Speaker: The hon. member might consider sticking with his day job.

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Edited to add: So help me, there's audio. But you don't want to listen to it. You really, really don't.