Branching out

I'd always planned for this blog to include Hansurdities from other parliaments, whether they be Canadian or whether they come from further afield. If, in trawling the Hansards for your own region, you encounter something bloggable, feel free to send it in to hansurdity@gmail.you.know.the.rest.

A few nights ago a friend contributed this ancient gem from the U.K. Parliament.

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Postage Stamp Adhesive
Lords Sitting, 12 July 1973

Lord Clifford of Chudleigh:

My Lords, I beg leave to ask the Question which stands in my name on the Order Paper.

The Question was as follows:

To ask Her Majesty's Government whether, in view of the inconvenience and possible danger to health of licking stamps, they will encourage the Post Office to introduce some form of self-sticking stamps.

Lord Denham:

My Lords, this is a matter for the Post Office, but I am told that it has on several occasions sought medical opinion on this point and has consistently been advised that the practice of licking stamps entails little or no risk to health.

Lord Clifford of Chudleigh:

My Lords, while thanking the noble Lord for that reply, may I ask him whether he is aware that there is in existence a process whereby minute globules of plastic containing sticking stuff are put on the back of stamps, and if you press it between finger and thumb it automatically sticks? Would that not be more convenient, quite apart from the health hazard? No matter what the noble Lord has been informed, may I ask him whether it is not a fact that many of the virus and bacteriological diseases can be spread in this way, particularly hepatitis A and B—B being the Australian one and therefore the most obnoxious?

Lord Denham:

My Lords, it is quite possible to use a sponge instead of licking stamps; indeed, every post office provides one for the use of its customers. With regard to the convenience of the stamps. I understand that self-adhesive ones would cause a great deal more inconvenience. They would be very much more bulky to store and it would be rather more difficult to put a number of stamps on letters, because it would be necessary to peel off the adhesive backing. I understand that no major postal administration uses self-adhesive stamps. There have been such stamps issued in Tonga and Bhutan, but I understand that in both cases they were sold as philatelic curiosities rather than as a means of prepaying postage.

Point of Order: Allegations Against A Member
October 29, 2008, afternoon session

The Speaker: If this hurts the feelings of other members, then I want other members to know that when a member gets up and says that a minister doesn't care, if you take the same principle of application, then I'd have to rule that kind of a statement out because some minister would come to me and say their feelings are hurt, and they're sensitive. Or: the minister should resign. Well, holy mackerel. Do you think that minister doesn't feel sensitive about that and go home at night and kick the door in? Would I have to then lead to ousting the member who raised it in the House? Or: the minister is out of touch. I mean, if you're going to talk sensitivity in here, okay. Fair game. You know, I'm a teddy bear and a cuddle of love, but we can have a lot of sensitivity. Let's understand that there sometimes . . . [interjection] Yeah. Thank you very much. You sit down.

There are always going to be times in here, and we also all know what depending on the day of the week and whatever circumstances happen and whatever the issue is that the person is raising the question on or whatever the issue is that the person is responding to the question on, there may be motivations in there that none of us are appreciative of. Human beings are human beings. It doesn't hurt to have a little emotion sometimes, too, as long as you don't hurt anybody with respect to that emotion.

Bill 18
Film and Video Classification Act
October 28, 2008, afternoon session

Ms Blakeman: What we have happening is that the tickets are being advertised at one rate and sold, many of them online, of course, which people find very useful, and we would want to keep that in place. What's happening is that we have large numbers of single tickets bought up electronically, so they're not available for the general public. When they go on the site, it says, "We're sold out," but then they get a helpful notice that sends them on to another affiliated group who has, in fact, single tickets for sale, but there is a markup on them. We started to track this through. It started to turn up with rock bands originally, and for those of you that are Metallica fans, this will mean something. If you're not, let me see if I can come up with another example that we had. [some applause] Oh, we've got Metallica fans. Okay. Good.

Introduction of Guests
November 17, 2008, afternoon session

Mr. Ouellette: Mr. Speaker, it gives me great pleasure to rise and introduce to you and through you to all members of this Assembly a gentleman that's no stranger to a lot of people in this Assembly. Marcel Van Hecke is up in the members' gallery. We had a meeting just before lunch. He had a few concerns about accessing property off our highways as he owns some property. Of course, we had to go along with safety as our biggest issue, and I think we've clarified all that. It's great to have Marcel here today, and I'd like him to receive the warm welcome of the Assembly.

The Speaker: In other words, you told him no.

Health System Restructuring
October 28, 2008, afternoon session

Mr. MacDonald: The hon. President of the Treasury Board is a fiscal hawk with a broken right wing. My first question is to the hon. President of the Treasury Board. When did the minister of health ask the President of the Treasury Board for additional money? The government is said to be running a deficit in this current fiscal year of $800 million in the department of health.

Mr. Snelgrove: Sorry. It's hard getting up on one wing, Mr. Speaker, but I'll do my best. I find it's far better flying with a broken right wing than in a little tight circle with only a left wing.

Bill 33
Agriculture Financial Services Amendment Act, 2008
October 21, 2008, evening session

Dr. Taft: I've often spoken to beef producers around this province. In fact, my in-laws still raise cattle. If this session hadn't opened on that second Tuesday in October, I would have been out helping with dehorning and castrating and branding and otherwise cattle.

Ms Pastoor: Oh, prairie oysters. Yummy.

Dr. Taft: Now, the Member for Lethbridge-East is licking her chops at the idea of a good feed of prairie oysters. I have to tell you that after seeing bucketfuls of them, I have no appetite at all for that sort of thing. Regardless, I'm losing my track about my point here.